


Forgiveness

by RachelDanna



Category: Tales of Xillia, Tales of Xillia 2
Genre: Do gooder Jude, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, LOVE ALVIN, LOVE JUDE, M/M, PROTECT THEM, Post xillia games, Spoilers Alert, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4498371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachelDanna/pseuds/RachelDanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alvin confronts Jude, questioning why the kid always found it in him to forgive Alvin, despite everything he did. Despite his betrayal and all the lies that came out from his mouth. </p><p>"I only have the answers for my own feelings. And I trust them. I might not follow them all the time, but I trust them. And I trust them for letting me trust you. To me, it really is that simple." </p><p>In which Alvin doubts himself, and Jude is there to help him through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> Alvin needs to be happy.

"Alvin?" Jude furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, looking at the man standing by the door. He hadn't even heard him come in, let alone enter the apartment. "Aren't you supposed to be in Duval...? Did the meeting get cancelled?" 

Jude had grown rapidly over the years. His jaw was sharper, his collarbones were more evident, and his hair now reached mid-neck. He even grew taller than Leia (Much to her cargain). But to his demise, his voice still remained the same, and Alvin was still taller than him anyway. The older man made it a point to tease him about it every moment that he could. 

Now at the age of 19, Jude couldn't walk anywhere without seeing the fruits of his research. Elympios was greener than ever, and spyrite was, and is, a huge success. It was hard to get out and go about his business without having someone approaching him and thanking him for what he had done for the world. Jude never got used to it, and he got flustered every time that happened. 

But that didn't make Jude any less of a do-gooder. Which is why he found himself frowning at his lover's grin, knowing something wasn't right. "What? I can't come back to my own apartment?" Alvin responded with a smile, and shrugged his coat off. "Yurgen is going to the meeting instead." 

Jude stared at him for a few more seconds, and proceeded to close his files and documents, placing them back on his desk. Walking up to Alvin, Jude reached a hand up and ran it through Alvin's hair gently. He didn't need to stand on his toes to do that now. 

"What's wrong?" Jude muttered, pulling Alvin with him to sit on the bed. Alvin responded by giving a laugh, shaking his head. "You always were able to see through me. It's nothing." at Jude's accusing stare, he added, "Nothing for you to worry about." 

"Alvin. Didn't you say you would stop lying?" Jude sighed, pulling his reading glasses off to lean against Alvin's chest. "So let me ask again. What's wrong? And what do you need me to do?" he mumbled softly, looking up at Alvin with his golden brown eyes. 

Alvin swore those eyes would be the end of him someday. He huffed, burying himself in his hands. "You don't need to do anything, Jude. Just stay. That's all I'm asking for." 

Unlike Jude, Alvin barely changed. He still had his broad shoulders, still had his muscles, and he still had that emptiness in his eyes from when his mother had died years ago. But Jude loved all of him, and that emptiness faded each day passing. Jude doubted it would fade away completely, he just did his best to keep it at bay. 

"I'll always stay for you." Jude laughed lightly, before pulling away to smile at Alvin reassuringly. He pried Alvin's hands away from his face, and leaned up to press a light kiss to the man's lips. 

Alvin looked away, moving to sit on the bed, his fists clenching on his lap. "I was just thinking... about Jill. Isla. My mother." he took a deep breath. "You." he fidgeted where he sat, and Jude waited patiently for him to continue. "I spent my whole life betraying people. Lying. Leaving people behind. I know I shouldn't be this... self deprecating. But I can't help it." 

Jude sat beside him, shifting his weight so that he was leaning on Alvin's side. His throat clenched painfully, and he nods a little. "You feel as if you shouldn't." Jude stated for him, and Alvin gave a scowl, not towards Jude, but to himself. 

"Well, yeah. I've hurt so many people. Too many to count. Killed innocent citizens all for what? To go back to a place I thought was home when the truth is, I don't have a place I can really call home. I don't have a place that accepts me anymore." he mutters.  _I nearly killed you,_ he wants to say.  _I hurt you and I nearly killed you._

Jude closed his eyes, shaking his head in disagreement. " _I_ accept you. It's kinda why I agreed to marry you, you know." he said, entwining both their left hands so that their engagement rings shone under their room light. The matching pair of diamonds gleaming in all it's perfection. "And you don't have to be afraid of letting yourself feel. Emotions are a part of us that makes us who we are. Don't hide it, thinking as if it's wrong." 

Alvin huffs, and turns to Jude to give him a disbelieving frown before collapsing on the bed with a groan. "How can you forgive me like this? Heck, I tried to kill you, Jude! I betrayed and left you too many times to count, and yet you're willing to spend the rest of your life with me? Why?" he finally exclaims. 

Jude kept their hands together, and replied without a beat, "Because I'll always forgive you." 

"It's that simple, huh?" Alvin snorted, pulling his hand away to only roll around to hide his face in the pillows. "You have an answer to everything, don't you, kid?" he grunted, giving them both an unintentional recollection of their fight in Hamil four years ago. It hadn't ended well. 

**_You always have an answer, don't you!?!_ **

**_Milla gave her life for us!_ **

Alvin pushed that memory away, not wanting to remember that he had pointed his gun right at Jude's forehead, how badly his hands were shaking and how he had almost pulled the trigger. He felt Jude shifting again. and lifted his head up to watch his lover get into bed with him. "I don't. I only have the answers to my _own_ feelings. And I trust them. I might not follow them all the time, but I trust them. And I trust them for letting me trust you. To me, it really is that simple." Jude says patiently. 

Alvin turned his head towards Jude, and golden brown eyes once more met his gaze. "I love you. And nothing's going to change that. Not even if you stop loving me back." 

"I'd never." Alvin growled, moving closer to rest his head on Jude's shoulder. "Not ever." he continued. Jude let a small smile adorn his face. "Then there's your answer." he said lightly. 

"I... what?" Alvin question in exasperation. "That doesn't make any sense." 

Jude let himself give in to roll his eyes. "You asked why I keep forgiving you, Alvin. And you answered it yourself. Use that brain of yours." he kissed the top of Alvin's forehead, and then got up to remove his coat and flip the light switch off.  

Alvin watched his partner move around their bedroom, and averted his eyes when he found the answer. "Because I love you." he eventually responds, sliding over so that Jude could resume his position on the bed. 

In response, Jude simple hummed in agreement, and Alvin felt a pair of arms circling his waist, the warmth it brought welcomed greatly with how cold Trigleph was at night. After a while, Alvin sighed, shaking his head. "I still don't understand. You forgive me, because you know that I love you? Jude I-"

"It's because I know that you'd never intentionally hurt me." Jude cut off, looking at Alvin with such an intensity that it made the older of the two rendered speechless. "You lie all the time, sure. But I accepted that, and I know that you don't do it to hurt me. You do it to keep me from getting hurt. Particularly, from you." 

Jude watched Alvin flinch, but he continued. "You think that your feelings might hurt me someday. I can tell. But that's not going to happen. Your feelings are not a bad thing, Alvin." he repeats, reaching up to brush through the man's hair once more. "You won't hurt me. So you need to stop telling yourself that. Because you won't. And even if you do, I know you won't do it on purpose. I trust you. And I love you. Nothing, not even if Elize tries to pull us apart, will change that." 

Once he was done, he noticed the tears that were gathering in Alvin's eyes, and he smiled. "It's going to be okay." pulling him closer, Alvin let out a shaky laugh, hiding his tear streaked face in the crook of Jude's neck "It's going to be okay, Alfred. We're going to get married, live a happy life, take care of Elle, and we're going to be okay." 

He let Alvin cry softly into his neck, not minding the tears soaking through his shirt. Eventually, Alvin's tears stopped, and he pulled away to nuzzle into Jude's hair. "You're everything I ever wanted." he whispered, ".. Thanks for putting up with me, Jude. It... it means a lot." 

"Anytime, Alvin." he kissed Alvin with a smile. "Anytime." 

Alvin saw Jude's smile, and he let out a huff, turning away in embarrassment. It took him seconds for him to fall asleep, with the person who loved him back by his side. Some days, he felt so terrible he thought he'd break, but he figured Jude wouldn't let him, and that made him feel safer than ever. 

With a person like Jude Mathis by his side, Alvin felt like he could do anything. 

 

And he wouldn't have it any other way. 


End file.
